Learn to Develop an Assertive Mindset
Why Being Assertive is Important
When you learn to have an assertive mindset, you'll discover it's one of the most useful life skills you can develop. Studies have shown that being assertive can lead to a whole host of benefits, from increased self-confidence to better relationships and improved mental and physical health.
What does it mean to be assertive?
Before you start, it's essential to understand what being assertive means. Psychologists define assertiveness as being able to express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view while respecting other's rights and opinions. Basically, assertiveness is mutual respect and honesty. Self-assured communicators are straightforward and know how to set and maintain healthy boundaries. If you're serious about living a satisfying life and succeeding in reaching your goals, learning to be assertive is crucial.
Rate your Assertive Mindset?
Think about how you feel about your life right now.
How satisfied with your personal and professional communication style? 1-10?
Does conflict make you anxious and so you avoid it? 1-10?
Do you worry about what other people think of you? 1-10?
If you're not happy with where you are now, the good news is that assertiveness is a habit that can be learned just like any other. With practice and commitment, you can change your mindset and live a life more aligned with your actual values and aspirations.
Tips for a more Assertive Mindset - Learn How to Develop It
Try these tips for introducing a more assertive approach into your life:
Decide what's important to you and stick to it.
Work out your individual boundaries.
Develop a positive open posture and look people in the eye when you speak to them.
Use positive 'I' statements about how you're feeling. Rather than blaming or finding fault with the other person. When you are blaming you'll find you are tempted to say, 'you always' or 'you never'. Beware, because you have fallen out of the assertive communication style. Take a step back and use 'I'.
Get comfortable with saying 'no' to things you don't want to or can't do.
When you say 'No' keep it simple and emotion-free. You don't need to offer an excuse or explanation.
Catch yourself saying 'sorry'. Only use 'sorry' when it's appropriate to the situation. You don't need to apologise when you say 'no'.
Offer alternative suggestions to proposals you don't like.
Look for compromises.
Be honest and direct about your feelings, thoughts, and intentions.
Consider writing a script for a situation that feels awkward.
Rehearse being confident. Stand or sit up straight, evenly balanced and with your head up, look the other person in the eye - kindly.
Hold your focus on the result you want and the potential consequences of the situation. Find a way to work together to find a mutually satisfying solution.
When you've developed your Assertive Mindset, what happens then?
When you're assertive, it means you choose to stand in your own two shoes. You recognise you have control over how you approach a situation and your feelings about it. Assertiveness won't get you everything you want all the time. But as you think about a situation that would have been stressful previously, notice now, with your assertive mindset, you feel in control and deal much better with it. Now, notice how good you feel.