Why is Knowing What you can Control Important?
Do you know what you can control?
Why is knowing what you can control important? Coaching involves various elements; here, we'll examine why you need to recognise what you can control. Coaching typically involves helping you identify and focus on aspects of your life that are within your control, such as your thoughts, actions, and emotions.
Whereas those aspects outside your control, such as the actions or behaviours of others, you can generally do nothing about.
Then there's also the sphere of influence, which is a bit like the old adage, "You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink!" So you have no guarantee any influence you exert will have the outcome you hope for.
Therefore when you focus your energy and efforts on things within your control rather than those outside your control, you'll develop greater self-awareness, resilience, and personal empowerment. Making it much more likely you'll achieve your goals.
Let's explore a bit of the COACHING PROCESS
Step 1
Identify:
First of all you need to identify what is within your control
Step 2
Explore:
Now that you know what's within your control, look at
What is working?
What is not working?
What you want to do:
More of? • Less of? • Change?
Step 3
Now Choose:
One thing from STEP 2.
For example, when my boss disagrees strongly with me I want to feel less emotional - this is something you ‘want less of’
Set a goal for yourself.
For example: “When my boss disagrees strongly with me I want to feel cool and calm so that I can think more effectively”
Step 4
Decide:
Your first small action:
For example: When my boss disagrees strongly with me I will pause, make my solar plexus relax by noticing my belly on my waistband, repeat what she has said (giving me more time to think) and then say ‘AND’… adding your point of view using ‘I’ statements.
Just do it!