Achieving Emotional Balance at Work - 4 Strategies
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Emotions
Emotions are neither good nor bad in themselves. They're signals, information that tells you you need to pay attention in one way or another. If a colleague crosses one of your boundaries, you may feel angry. Someone else may have a different working style to you, which irritates you. You may lose a team member because they have moved to another team or even company, and you feel sad. How can you regulate your emotions to perform to the best of your ability?
Aristotle said
"Anybody can become angry, that is easy;
but to be angry with the right person,
and to the right degree, and at the right time,
and for the right purpose, and in the right way,
that is not within everybody's power,
that is not easy."
from The Art of Rhetoric.
So to paraphrase Aristotle, there's a time and a place for everything.
You'll inevitably experience emotion. You can choose to accept it or reject it. Although sometimes, you just need to focus on something else for a bit until you can figure out what exactly is going on for you. When you're at work, this is especially true.
If you find there's a lot of inherent stress during the day, you may find it hard to keep from emotional overload while working. When you add client interactions or challenges with co-workers, it's very easy to hit a wall.
So, how can you deal with strong emotions even when you're at work?
Go easy on yourself and others
Learning not to let problems get to you while working is vital. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. So if your co-workers screw up, make a conscious effort to extend a little mercy. It won’t help to blow a gasket when they already feel bad for making a mess of things. The same goes for you. Accept mistakes. No mistakes, no learning. If you're not making any mistakes, perhaps you are not extending yourself. When a mistake occurs - yours or someone else's, take a moment to breathe, acknowledge and identify the feeling, then redirect the emotion to action. What can be done to mitigate the disaster? (I know, disaster may be too strong of a word), so what can be done to rectify the situation? Choose to learn from the experience and focus on a solution. Then you'll find your emotions stay under better control.
2. Talk about it
You need to feel able to express your emotions at work because if you suppress them, they may grow into resentment or anger. This is the last thing you want. With minor issues, you should be able to speak to your co-worker directly. Express how you're feeling and talk to them about the next steps. To do this, use "I" statements. Be very conscious of your tone of voice and body language.
For example:
First, state the situation
“I've noticed this is the third time you are late this week.”
Then, how you’re feeling:
"I feel frustrated that I need to repeat the importance of being on time."
Finally, what you want:
"I want you to be at your desk by 09:00."
If there's a more pressing problem with a customer or co-worker, turn to a supervisor for help. Talk to them about what's going on, and express how you feel. Again use the "I" statements and ask for their input or suggestions as to the next steps to find a solution. In some cases, this might involve HR or discussions mediated by your manager. What we're talking about here are serious matters which involve heavy emotion.
3. Touch Base
When someone around you is becoming overwhelmed with their emotions, the best thing you can do is to ask, "How can I help?" This simple phrase is more likely to return your entire workplace to a more peaceful atmosphere than almost anything else. Reaching out to those around you encourages them to work through their emotions. Pro-tip? Listen more than you speak. This is why you have two ears on only one mouth! Sometimes the best way to defuse an emotional or tense situation is to let the other person vent and describe how they're feeling right now. When they've got it off their chest and feel heard, clarity of thought and solutions can begin to surface.
4. How Available Are You?
Establish a habit of connecting with those around you. Maintaining good relationships makes it easier to be open about your emotions when things come up. When you demonstrate openness, it also encourages the same open dialogue with others. This means they will feel they can come to you before things blow up. After all, the best way to keep heavy emotion out of the workplace is to keep it from igniting in the first place!
